Don't lie to yourself!...


 How do I begin to express every thought onto paper, every emotion into words, and every feeling into a comprehendible expression? There are so many times where I have a whole lot I want to say but I'm silent. My tongue-tied, my throat in knots, and my mind moving miles a minute. If for a moment I could just say what it is I want to say maybe I wouldn't feel so alone in my thoughts. Every conversation is an uphill battle for anxiety. Make sure you don't have a resting bitch face. Think through what you want to say because you have a list of people that will remind you of your lack of filter. Make sure you're kind because you know there is another list of people that think you're mean. After all of that what I have to say is pointless to me and I'd rather not. 

People, even with the purest of intentions can still be hurtful and never know. Truth in the form of accountability wrapped in the kindest of words is still the sharpest knife. I am a lover of truth. I love those that are honest with me even when it stings. Honesty is real, it's concrete, and you can stand by it and not be embarrassed. Honesty does not come easy all of the time. Even in the moments when we fire shots of truth but really its shade. We do it under the guise that someone had to say something. Do everything in LOVE remember.

A part of being honest is living honestly. I want so much out of life. I am here to live in abundance, gratitude, and share all of those blessings. Abundance doesn't come easy. Gratitude doesn't come easy. Sharing blessings doesn't come easy. It takes being honest with self first. I have a tendency to replay the smallest of situations over and over in my head. I used to do it so much that I didn't realize the layers of anxiety it was causing me. We do the same thing when we want to achieve greatness in life. We get so caught up in small things that we tell ourselves lies that cause us to give up before we start. We do this with new relationships too. From, "Hello, nice to meet you." We've gone through the entire relationship start to finish and we don't even know their name. We have canceled a future friend, lover, life long partner because we replay lies of unworthiness, judgment, and torment ourselves before a chance is even given. 

I know we have been hurt and truth be told it may happen again. But, this time we can tell ourselves, "The choices someone else makes will not change my worth." I will keep my heart open to love, joy, kindness, and truth because I am worthy of their beauty. I've seen too many relationships lost because one person thought they had done too much, gone too far, or experienced too much hurt to care. Please don't lie to yourself and think success happens without love. Know that love is truth and truth is accountability and that doesn't always feel good in the moment but feels great in the end. 

Love ya,

-Juls

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