Blogtober Day 11…

 

Growing up I struggled with my weight. Well, I thought I struggled with my weight, but I was a normal size for my age and height I just didn’t live within a community that said my size was normal. I don’t mean my mom. My mother never complained about my weight. I don’t have any memories of my mother saying anything bad or good about my size. Other than being short. I am short people will forever point out that I’m short. It doesn’t hurt… any more lol. I remember when I was around 10 years old. I was hospitalized with asthma issues for about week or more. It was so bad that my brother was called to come and see me just in case I died.

Shortly after getting out of the hospital my life began to normalize again and I went back to doing kid things. I was however on medications. One of my church friends says to me that she and her mom have noticed that I’m getting fat. For context I was 10, just got out of the hospital from a near death experience, and on steroid medication to help keep my bronchial tubes functioning properly. Also, because of the reason for being hospitalized I had very little cardio activity going on. The asthma was so bad (at that time) that my siblings could tickle me, and I would laugh myself into an asthma attack. Needless to say, I wasn’t friends with that girl ever again. However, she planted a seed of insecurity within my self-image. I developed a weight complex. I was never thin enough.

This idea has remained with me since I was 10 years old and I’ve never said anything until now. It wasn’t until I started going through a divorce and dealing with stress at levels I couldn’t comprehend my weight got out of control for me. I would diet, exercise, pray, fast, and lose nothing. I hired personal trainers and programs, nothing worked. About 4 or 5 years ago I had a desire to go vegan, but I was broke and just starting my career. In my mind in order for me to be vegan I need to have money for healthy groceries and time to prepare them. Each year I kept having that feeling of going vegan. I had been vegetarian before and I enjoyed it. I introduced meat into my diet for multiple reason. The main one being it was cheaper for my family.

This year I started counting macronutrients. I got a coach and a plan. I even had a workout routine and a partner. Then COVID happened and 2020 was at the beginning stages of the hot mess dumpster fire. Nevertheless, I was determined to see change within my body. I began to see some results but not much with the macro counting. I had a lot of food to eat and I was struggling to eat everything. Simultaneously, the urge to become vegan was stronger than ever. I honestly felt I was being lead to a vegan diet by the Lord. I felt like in my private devotion with Christ he ever so gently reminded me of how I promised to trust him with everything in my life. That includes my diet.

In June of this year I decided I would trust God with my diet. After I dropped my boys off for the summer I came home (on a Tuesday). I gave myself the rest of the week to eat whatever I wanted. I called a friend of mine and asked her to come and get all the nonvegan food from my house. From that Sunday I ate as best I could according to a vegan diet. I have slipped here and there but I continue to try my best on this journey. And to my amazement I am seeing results. I feel better, and of course I look better. The scale is dropping and thrilled.

I am so thankful I chose obedience to what I feel God was telling me to do. I don’t know what God keeps telling you ever so gently, but I hope you heed the voice of our good Father. His plans for us are to give us a hope and a future (Jer. 29:11). There are some things in life God offers to us as a suggestion. The benefits on taking that suggestion about amazing but it’s a suggestion not a requirement. Other time God requires us to change and the consequence is anything but amazing. Every now and then I may eat meat and I believe that is okay. But there are other things I know my time is up for. We need to know when it’s time to say goodbye and let go.

Love ya,

-Juls


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