The Value of Friendship...

My last post was a shout out to the amazing people in my life that keep pushing me to be greater than great. I’m not sure if anyone has noticed but I’ve made a point to not share names since I’ve been blogging. I did that in hopes to honor those closest to me that are no longer in those spaces of life because we all deserve to shine in our best light. I will continue to withhold the names of those in stories (of my actual life) that may not shine the brightest in that moment because I love them. With that said I have been feeling lead to share the stories of friends that have impacted my life in some way, shape, or form and that requires names. There is no particular order to how I share these stories. I just want to share them.

There are some people in life you are destined to meet. It was written before the earth was formed. Those are friendships that are beautiful. I have been blessed with beautiful friendships and it is my hope that my stories touch hearts and fill others with hope of amazing relationships in their lives as well. I can’t remember if we were invited to a birthday party or if we were invited to a dinner however, I do remember meeting this beautiful spirit when our friend groups overlapped. I lived in a world where Kelly Darby Holder didn’t exist until one day she did, and my life was changed for the better because of it.

Kelly whom I refer to as Kels is an amazing wife, mom, daughter, friend, and psychologist. Kels and I became official friends when the church we were attending asked for us to find prayer partners. I was in a group but at this party we decided to add Kels into the prayer mix. While in Nashville, we became close, but she became my life support when we found ourselves all living on the east coast around the same time. There is so much I want to share about how awesome I think Kels is but I what I want you know most is what I learned from her as a friend. I have learned so many things I could probably write several posts about it and I think I’ve shared a few things in previous posts. However, all the friendship in our lives teach us something or at least they should. If iron sharpens iron than we should be learning and growing from the friendships around us. If that isn’t the case than maybe, we need to evaluate the stock within our relationships. I have learned the value of friendship through being friends with Kels. I remember sitting in our living room one evening discussing friendships and miscommunications that can take place within them. I don’t remember what the issue was, but I do remember asking her if she was going to address the issue. Kels response to me was, “I value the friendship more than I value this misunderstanding.” That statement has never left me. I think about those words when I conflict arises in my friendships and it allows me to take stock of the relationship. With that lens I can evaluate if that relationship is more important than the issue and I act accordingly.

Thank you Kels for our friendship. Thank you for being an amazing person and doing some amazing things. I asked Kels what is something she learned from friendship? Her response in true Kelly form is beautiful. I’d like to quote it and not paraphrase if you don’t mind, “Friendship is very important to me. The love between friends is special because it is individuals choosing to support and love each other while managing the mess of our lives. Friendships can take us on many journeys. For me the best part of the journey is when I am fully seen by a person and still loved.” What a magnificent way to describe friendship. I also want to celebrate Kels in her accomplishments with a new business she has started. Kelly is also a phenomenal psychologist known in that world as Dr. Kelly Darby Holder. I share this because her heart beats to eliminate the stigma of mental health. We know in the black community mental health is difficult to access, swept under the rug, and dared to be discussed. I love that she has started a website to promote mental health in fun and exciting ways. For Kels it starts with selfcare and as a mom and black professional I’m here for it. Kelly is working on a book that I know will be filled with great exercises to promote selfcare and what better time for her voice to be heard on the matter than NOW! Find out more about what Kelly is doing and how she is a part of the selfcare campaign on her website: askhsolutions.com. In closing I would like to leave you with some of Kels thoughts on selfcare, “I believe that our philosophy and beliefs about selfcare impact every facet of our lives. It is the underpinnings of how we make our choices and how we live our lives. Our ability to care for ourselves will dictate how long and useful we can be in any endeavor in our lives.” Thank you, Kelly, for being such a fantastic friend in my life and teaching me more than you know. I love you. Thank you all for reading. I hope you enjoy and find hope.

Love

-Juls

 Where to find Kelly Kels:

Website: askhsolutions.com

Instagram: @askh_solutions or @drkellyholder

Facebook: @askhsolutions

Email: kelly.holder@askhsolutions.com