Compassion Over Judgment

There is this idea that when something goes wrong or goes in an unfavorable direction someone must be at fault. Bad things don't just happen but rather bad things only happen as a consequence to people that have done wrong or bad things. The reality is that may not be the case. For example, (don't worry I have several) someone fails a test. We tell that person they didn't study hard enough. Study harder and next time you won't fail. Little do we know that person has studied and truly put in the work but they still failed the test. A partner in a relationship is cheated on and we say you must have not been doing something right for your partner to treat you that way. You didn't work hard enough on your relationship. A person finds out they have cancer. You weren't eating right, you didn't work hard enough on your health and that is why your health is failing. A child develops cancer and it's because the parents got them vaccinated, they ate too much gluten or it's karma from a past life. In any case, I'm sure you can insert an issue or something you've been through that just happened to be a negative circumstance. When you had hoped those around you would understand, and offer you compassion, you were met with judgment. 

Far too often we ask for grace but respond with judgment. We say "No judgment girl, but!" Followed up with a judgmental statement. As women, we should begin to extend the compassion and grace we seek towards each other. Please don't get me wrong in friendship and sisterhood it is important to get ya girl together in LOVE! There will be times when you have to let ya girl know you love her but she is in rare form and needs to remember she is a QUEEN. There will also be times when you just want to call a situation what it is and that my dear is not judgment it is temporary facts. What I'm referring to is when a friend is going through it, or when she isn't where you are, or where you feel she should be, and what you have to say is draped in the idea of love but is really unsolicited judgmental advice. In those moments is when compassion should be offered. It is important for us to seek wisdom in our words because we don't know how close that friend may be to her breaking point or better yet her breakthrough. Just because things began to turn around after your harsh criticism doesn't justify your words or actions. Love is kind, love is patient and love does not delight in evil but rejoices in truth...(I Cor. 13:4-8). 

There is another story that I am reminded of in the Bible. Jesus is with the apostles' when they see a man blind since birth. The apostles' asked Jesus who sinned the blind man's parents or him. Jesus told them neither. This happened so that the works of God may be displayed in him. Listen, I'm not saying there aren't times when we failed the test because we didn't study, or the relationship ended because we didn't put the work into it. Just like we can expect if we fill our bodies with all the wrong things, our health will pay the price for it. I completely understand that consequences have actions. However, there are times when hard work and all the effort in the world won't keep bad things from happening. So, the next time you experience yourself or a friend in a bad place offer them compassion. Offer them understanding because we don't know the full situation and we just may be offering judgment when God is offering his glory.

PS. This also applies to the inner critic as well. Sometimes we offer judgment to others because that is what we offer to ourselves. We are most critical of ourselves and we must remind our minds of God's grace. It is because we are so internally critical that we should make more of an effort to offer compassion (love) towards each other. With love, we can create a space of healing for one another which in turns creates healing within and in this God is truly glorified.

Love ya,

-Juls