That Time 90's Love Stories Change My Life!

I am a lover of “Black 90’s Love Stories.” My favorite is Love Jones. I love the artistry, the weaving and intermingling of lives met at random. I am a sucker for 90’s R&B, the “baby making” music, the stories of love lost and of course the songs of one finding themselves after dodging the bullet of bad love. I lived in those words and in those spaces of love stories created for the culture. Black buster classics are where I began to identify my blackness. I have recently been watching “Love Is…” (on the Own network). I am brought back to the girl that I wanted to become, the imagery of how I wanted my identity shaped. The story is so beautifully written it reminds me of how simple love is yet it’s so complex. The tapestry and fabric of love are defined so differently for everyone that when weaving these delicate yet luxurious hearts (and lives) together we have to remember to be patient. There are some areas that seamlessly come together but there are other areas that will need to be stitched and secured and tended to more than others.

The rawness of 90’s Black love stories has an appeal that no other style of movie has. The character development is done in such a way that it even helps to feed the narrative of love; love of community, self, other and even sensuality. Like I said before; these movies, love stories were the beginning of how I identified the love I wanted. Now, at the time of this black love awaking within me, I was nowhere near the reality of this experience. I was a virgin with no intention of having sex until marriage and all of these movies were filled will sex. However, the imagery of love was so real to me. The characters were so sure of who they were and their identity as black men and women. Even in their insecurities, they would draw strength from each other and their community. I am 3 episodes into, “Love Is_” and I am feeling nostalgic, euphoric and proud of who I am, what Black love is and just excited about the journey we are taking with Nuri and Yasir. I don’t want to give any spoilers if you are planning to watch it but I can’t make any promises.

Love Is… follows two very different people Nuri and Yasir and we watch their beautiful story of love unfold. What I love most is they manage to live in the gray space (thus far). I saw things as very black and white for most of my life. I am still very cut and dry in a lot of ways. What attracts me to love stories like this one is their ability to blossom in the gray spaces. For example, both characters are in different places in their life, career, and belief system but thus far they have yet to judge each other. They occupy the gray space where they can freely be themselves.

The gray space is what attracted me to Black 90’s love story. I have learned that life is not cut and dry. Things are not always black and white. There are times when love is worth living in the gray space. Love for our communities, for our society, and for our culture.  I can often get caught up in the way I think things should be and feel like there needs to be a right or wrong way to finding love or being in a loving relationship and I’m reminded of Proverbs 14:12 “There is a way that seems right to a person but its end is the way that leads to death.” I am learning that I don’t have all the answers and that is okay. I do have is love (to give and receive). As much as my favorite movies are about finding love. I think we should all be reminded that love is more than just the push and pull of a relationship. Love is signing up to be a Muslim ally (at trueislam.com) because we are all brothers and sisters. Love is supporting families staying together because we are all family. Love is actively being involved in our communities; for me, that is through my church family (Riverside Chapel riversidenashville.org). We all need love because God is love. We need to both give and receive love and sometimes love (pure love) is found in the gray space and not in the black and white. My prayer is that we can learn to live more in the gray space and learn to love our neighbors as we hope to be loved.

With Love-

Juls