Blogtober Day 9…

 
The number 9 is my mom’s favorite number. She says for her it’s like the end of the old and the beginning of the new. Biblestudy.org says 9 symbolizes divine completeness or conveys the meaning of finality. Today is day 9 of #Blogtober and while I am running a little late, I’m pushing through. The last couple weeks distance learning has been one of my frustrations. As I type I have one of my boys next to me finishing up some science work while asking me the time every 2 minutes. My oldest son is in his room watching tiktok on his phone because we are on lunch break. We are night owls normally, but the last few nights have been ridiculous with homework and me working on blogging. I joke with my boys about wishing we could just function between the hours of 5pm to 5am. I’ve always been a night owl and so has my oldest. However, my youngest has been on a schedule since birth. Quarantining has flipped the script in our home. Has it done the same for you? How has your home life routine changed since March?

Last night I was looking for Christmas tree ornaments because lol at this point just because. I know we are still in October and Thanksgiving is a month away. However, I feel like we should be at the end of this year. If I start putting my Christmas tree up now maybe it would bring a since of lightness and fun to our home. The joys of looking forward to celebrating the birth of Christ. Sharing gifts with family and friends. Interesting fact about me is I love to give gifts, but it is not my love language. Gift giving is a part of quality time (my top love language), but it’s the enjoyment of what the person is opening that I love seeing. Either I have amazing friends that can sell me a reaction or they genuinely like the gift I’ve given them. Thinking about the season of Christmas is pulling me out of today’s funk. The other thought that helps is next Friday is Nevada day and my boys will be out of school. I don’t work on Fridays and I think one of the things that gets my goat is having to login to school. I miss dropping them off to school and being able to have an empty house to myself. I would clean, get laundry done, sit with myself, listen to the voice of God and do my daily devotional. I still do all those things, but I have to navigate them between children’s classes, my work meetings, and endless schoolwork. Please don’t misunderstand I am beyond thankful for the little chaos. I know I am blessed beyond measure. I do have moments when I miss the old routine… and that is okay.

I was having a conversation with a friend the other day about being honest with where you are. To any mother, father, person, reader that feels you have to put on please know your feelings matter. If you are not okay, please know you can say that. We can have bad days, weeks, months, and even years. We don’t have to put on a happy face or get over it. We should take time to feel and experience whatever it is that we are going through. It’s also healthy, normal, and okay to ask for help. Help may come in the form of therapy, telling a person you love (friend or family) what’s going on, it may also be taking time to be alone. If the people around you say they love you that includes being a safe space for you to: not be perfect, in fact be damaged, feel every emotion no matter how uncomfortable, allow you to make mistakes, and allow you to grow and change from who you were to who you are meant to become.

We must support the people we love in the ways they need us. One of my closest friends isn’t a great communicator but my love for them will always be extended. Even when they don’t have the words to express how things are going or where they are emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually; my love will still be consistent towards them. My love will always be offered to them because I’ve been the friend that received love in a dark space. There 9 fruits of the spirit. I want for those that have come into my life to have experienced LOVE from me.

“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is LOVE.” I Corinthians 13:13.

Love ya,

-Juls