That Time I almost forgot my purpose!

It has been way too long since my last post and I have not forgotten how much I enjoy writing. I have been busy and not like the excuse we make to blow people and things off. I have been for real busy. I have a legit job that I've prayed for since I knew I wanted to work.
Recently, I was asked to give some insight on a group project that didn't unfold the way it was supposed to and I realized there was an actual point in the group projects I avoided in high school. Seriously, when I had a group project assigned in high school I would beg the teacher to allow me to do it by myself. For the most part, it worked but there were a few teachers who refused to play the fool and allow me to be great... on my own. I'm not sure about you but when events like this happen to me (being asked to review other people) it causes me to think about my actions and how I hoped someone would review me. Isn't that our life thought? A constant merry-go-round from judge to defendant all the while saying, "hashtag- only God can judge me, don't judge me, sips tea no judgment!"
Life is a series of choices that either helps us get to where we want to be or keeps us from reaching our goals. Now, of course, that is a very blanketed statement because there are times when our lives are affected by other peoples choices. I would also like to add with God all things are possible and the choices that we make God can work in our favor even though they could've been our end.
When I was going through my divorce with two toddlers. I was angry, hurt and confused. I felt like God had given up on me and I no longer had the purpose I thought He (God) had given me. One afternoon I sat in the car while my babies were napping in the dead of winter contemplating my life's journey thus far. What did I have to show for myself at 28? What renown work had I done to impact the good of society and why had I not accomplished any of it? That is what happens when you feel like you are looking into the abyss. I, however, was looking at a dead tree or what I thought was a dead tree. The longer I looked at the tree the stiller and the calmer I became. I began to allow God to speak to my pain. As I looked at the tree I could hear God tell me to stop getting caught up on the surface of things. That tree looks dead as if life will never return to it. It's white and bare. It looks like the bark is gone and left any of trees protection lifeless. However, what you don't see are the things going on inside the tree. While you see something dead. I see food moving from the roots that are deep in the ground to the tip of every branch. I see the roots sinking deeper into the soil set farther than the surface of the ground. I see life happening and growing on the inside of the tree. I see the provision that no one else can see taking place in that tree. The tree is not dead it is going through winter. Winter is the season that causes things to look dismal and bare but come spring all the work that has been happening on the inside of that tree will begin to peek out with its blossoms. Before you know it that tree that is looking dead and dormant right now will be full of leaves and flowers and seeds to share.
I was that tree. I am that tree. I went through one of the darkest times in my life yet God was doing a work on the inside of me. I know he has promised to finish the work He started in me (and you) and I want to see where that work takes me. I want to see God move through me. Are you that tree? Do you feel like it's winter in a certain area of your life? Don't give up. Keep living, keep breathing because the work is happening on the inside of you. You can't feel it. You may not be able to hear it, taste it or touch it but when spring comes you will be greater for it. Trust more than the process. Trust the one that created you and the process. Trust that there is a purpose and a plan for your life. I encourage you (and myself) to do it. Whatever the "it" is, do it!!! There is no perfect time to step out on your dreams so just count to 3 and take a step. Keep counting and keep stepping. Before you know it you will be in such an amazing place even you will have to do a double take.
-With Love,
Juls